Parenting: Does it take a village?
It takes a village to raise a child. We’ve all heard and probably felt this one a little too hard sometimes. For a new mom especially, the village is an important pillar of her transition into motherhood. From sleep advice to feeding to parenting tips, we find ourselves in need of a support group made up of seasoned mothers around us to help guide us through the ups and downs of motherhood.
Do you need the help of the village in parenting?
But as crucial as this community is unwarranted advice, even when it comes with good intentions, can also be detrimental to the mental health of any questioning and vulnerable mom.
- “Don’t coddle your child”
- “You need to be tougher on your toddler”
- “Your toddler is too attached to you, and you need to force him to detach”
- “Your child needs to be disciplined”
- And the latest one I’m seeing parents on social media advocate: “Avoid praising your kids too much”.
Many people will usually jump at the chance to pass on their experiences to new moms, but we live in different times than most of them did and are raising our kids to thrive in these ever-changing times. Whatever parenting styles may have worked for parents even ten years ago, will not necessarily work for us today.
Nowadays, we have access to professionals and experts online that can help us tackle the psychological aspect of raising happy, well-rounded children in today’s world. And in today’s world, the previous childrearing norms no longer apply.
And while everyone is free to give parenting advice, as a mother, you’re also free to either take it or ignore it.
Do research, refer to trusted and credible sources, and find the parenting style that works for you and your family. If applying what you hear from people around you is making you feel uneasy, then listen to your gut. It isn’t for you.
There is way too much emphasis on what to do and what not to do from everyone around you & online, and it can get overwhelming. And the last thing any mother needs is to feel external added pressure over how to raise her kids.
The village is meant to relieve your stress, not be the cause of it. The advice your friends and family pass on to you is supposed to be just that. It’s not holy. Nobody should dictate to you how YOU raise your kids. And nobody knows what your kids need more than their mother.
Also read Motherhood stories: the second time around
