Mom guilt what is it? and how to overcome it

Guilt is a natural human emotion not different from anger, sadness, or happiness. It is a strong feeling that is strongly tied to motherhood. In this article I will talk about mom guilt, and how it affects motherhood.

Marwa Ghazzawi  Certified Parent Coach
Marwa Ghazzawi
Published on:Jan 24th 2023 |Updated on:Mar 10th 2024
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Is mom's guilt normal?

If you are a mom, you probably will feel guilty several times every day, and this is perfectly normal. Moms feel guilty if they don’t pick up their crying baby immediately, or when they leave to work. Guilt can be a stimulant to continuous improvement if dealt with properly. Sometimes mothers take guilt to the next level and turn it into constant blaming and shaming, this causes sadness and a constant feeling of insecurity for the mom.

How to properly handle the mom guilt

Sit down, take a breath, and find out why are you feeling guilty. Is it because I made a mistake? Am I not a good mother? Am I trying too hard to prove something to those around me? The answers to these questions will give you solutions, help you get rid of the guilty feeling, learn, and improve your motherhood experience. Remember certain things are out of your control such as playing the role of the father in case of his absence.

Many moms feel guilty for yelling at their children, or for being angry. Many times a mom will jump into blaming and shaming calling herself a bad mom which is the most destructive way of dealing with the natural feeling of guilt. The best way is to analyze this feeling, understand it, analyze the behavior that led to it, and deciding not to repeat it. Another example is the guilty feeling single moms feel because they carry alone too many responsibilities, and often lack enough support, they feel shame and blame themselves too often.

Another very common guilt is the one experienced by moms who don’t breastfeed and give their babies formula instead. If you are one of that moms you need to pause and ask yourself: Why am I feeling guilty? If the answer you get is because you are a bad mom, breastfeeding moms are better than you! This is a classic example of blaming and shaming that can only harm you. You need to be assertive and confident; you are giving your baby a healthy alternative and you are a good mom.

Guilty feeling and working moms.

One of the most common types of mom guilt. There are three main types of working moms:

  • A mom that doesn’t work and is content, despite thinking of working sometimes.
  • A working mom who is happy about working.
  • A working mom who is forced to work, and who is not happy about leaving her child, this type of mother suffers from the hardest blaming and

shaming feelings.

Working mothers feel guilty every day when leaving to work, and this is perfectly normal. It is important that this feeling however doesn’t turn into shame. You can treat this guilt by analyzing the causes behind it and rationalizing a solution. If you feel guilty for not spending time with your child during the day remind yourself that you will spend time with him when you get back from work. Find ways to compensate without spoiling your child. You can also try to work from home or work part-time if possible.

The negative impact of mom guilt on motherhood

We feel guilty when we make a mistake, but moms feel guilty just for being a good parents. One common example is feeling guilty for not giving the child too much screen time. The child’s response will be crying or throwing a tantrum, and the mother’s response is feeling guilty. Our brains treat the tantrums of our children as if they are attacked by a lion! Many moms are victims of these feelings so they spoil their children to make up by giving them unlimited screen time!

Treat a tantrum with love and patience without guilt or fear. Don’t feel guilty for parenting your child, you want what is best for your children, and to achieve this you need to have lines that shouldn’t be crossed regardless of how your child feels about it.

Leave the guilt and choose love.

Check out 7 tricks moms use to get time for themselves


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Marwa Ghazzawi  Certified Parent Coach
Marwa Ghazzawi Certified Parent Coach

Marwa Ghazzawi Certified Parent Coach, and a mother of two boys Taim and Hassan. She is the founder of The_wonder_mum platform on Instagram. Marwa offers individual and group coaching to mothers and fathers. She focuses in her coaching on the strong points of the parents and the children, to use them to overcome their daily challenges, using Appreciative Inquiry and NLP. She works with parents through the coaching sessions to help them set their parenting goals and sets a weekly follow-up plan.

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