Overcoming challenges of the first year of marriage

The importance of the first year of marriage

The first year of marriage may seem like the most difficult because it is a new stage full of changes and adaptation by you and your husband to these new roles you will play for the rest of your lives.

According to experts, this transitional phase and how you deal with the changes is pivotal to the longevity of the marriage. Studies have shown that the abundance of problems, the decline in love and communication, and the presence of negative feelings tainted with resentment and anger between couples are essential indicators that this marriage will inevitably end in divorce. Recent research has shown that newlyweds may feel negative feelings towards each other during the first months of marriage due to unrealistic expectations and imaginary perceptions they have about married life.

Disappointments usually stem from false expectations in these areas:

• Intimacy.
• The roles of each one.
• Life responsibilities.
• Romance.
• Parenthood.

Challenges during the first year of marriage

1| Loss of independence

Perhaps it is one of the most critical challenges faced by a man and a woman, especially after several years of being single. Marriage requires a lot of effort, understanding, and sacrifices. The freedom you have always enjoyed, whether in spending your free time or money, is gone forever. You are now a wife and part of a relationship with someone else, and you have other responsibilities. You may also feel a loss of identity at first; you are not the same person you were before marriage; you are now someone's wife, and soon you will be someone's mother, too. The key to a happy married life is to realize new roles and accept this transition.

2| Dealing with differences

You love watching tennis tournaments, taking walks in the fresh air, and eating pineapple pizza, while your husband loves playing video games and watching TV, and his idea of ​​a good time is going to the mall! These are just a few examples of the differences that exist between couples. Over time, there will be differences in raising children and your opinions on many topics. Turning differences into conflicts and dealing with them stubbornly and inflexibly may cause significant problems in a marriage.

3| Dealing with family

While searching for the perfect wedding dress and the ballroom you have always dreamed of; no one has ever told you before that you are marrying a whole family, not just one man. Dealing with the in-laws and the problems that may arise in this relationship causes tension between husband and wife. These challenges can destroy marriage if they are not dealt with wisely.

4| Financial Challenges

According to experts, financial challenges are one of the most critical problems that couples face at the beginning of their married life, especially after spending a lot on the wedding, honeymoon, and house furnishing. You and your husband may have different purchasing habits, and he may have different beliefs about saving and spending. These differences can generate discussions and sometimes conflicts, so they must be dealt with rationally.

5| Perception of romance

You think romance is a candlelit dinner in a fancy restaurant, while he praises the beauty of your eyes with poetry he wrote especially for you. At the same time, he sees romance as asking you if you are hungry and bringing shawarma sandwiches on his way home! There is care, time, and effort in both cases, but in different languages.

Tips to overcome the challenges of the first year of marriage

1| Continuous dialogue

Honesty, continuous and calm dialogue to understand the other and express feelings, thoughts, and fears are the basics of any healthy marriage. Do not just get angry without expressing the reason for your anger and your expectations, thinking that he will realize that himself, as he most likely does not know that you are angry with him in the first place.

2| Accepting differences

Not turning differences into disputes is the cornerstone of happiness and peace in marriage. You agree on the basics, so do not let your differences separate you. Accept differences and treat each other with respect, affection, and compassion.

3| Setting boundaries with the in-laws

You married a man and his family, and he married a woman and her family. However, setting boundaries and priorities is the basis for the success of this marriage at all levels. You need to realize that you have become a small family and that your relationships with your extended family should not affect your marriage. Let respect, communication, and love be the foundation of these relationships, along with setting healthy boundaries and maintaining the privacy of your relationship together as a couple.

4| Discussing finances

It is essential to decide on the basics of dealing with money from the moment you get engaged, primarily if you work and have your income. If you will contribute to the cost of your life together, it is essential to set the basics and agree on all the details in advance. It is also crucial to be honest about each other's income and financial obligations and to develop a spending and saving plan together.

5| Learn the appropriate love language

Each of you must have his or her love language. Teach him your language and learn his language so that you can understand the meaning of love, romance, and intimacy in marriage. Just as dialogue and frankness are the basis of understanding, they are also the foundations of love and romance.

To sum up,

Marriage is one of the most essential pillars of society. It is a sacred relationship based on affection, mercy, partnership, understanding, cooperation, and love. But at the same time, it requires a lot of effort and patience, so the first year of marriage is considered the most difficult. But with wisdom, patience, honesty, and understanding, marriage can turn into a never-ending honeymoon.